How dark, overwhelming and emptying these many days have been; the pressure relentless, the needs and demands excessive–robbing me of hope, joy and most disturbing, the pressing desire to love You most and make You known. I have slipped, slid then catapulted into lonely desperation…trying to get through the days…surviving with no sign of thriving anywhere. Finding myself defenseless to the lies and traps of the one who hates my soul with a vengeance. Hearing his hot whispers of “I will always win because I will always get people to follow/succumb/enact my dark, hateful ways. Nothing will ever change or get better this side of eternity; won’t happen!” The abyss of hopelessness sucks life out of me, burying my endurance and I am shocked to experience the shell of me lying there…done…given up…nothing left. I stay here, unable to move myself; terrified of the lack of desire, care, motivation to try to escape. Sorrow, sadness and weariness in the hands of the enemy have strangled life out of me. I don’t even find the energy to laugh/scoff at the verse of You coming to give us life and life abundantly. Hopeless tears bathe my broken self. So this is it, I mutter. This ditch of despair has buried me. I can’t be found.

YET.

3 letters. One small word. Such POWER.

Yet, You call to me in the ditch. “I am coming, child. It is NOT over. You came here of your own volition yet I seek you, pursue you because our Father loves the world SO MUCH He sent Me. Reach up. Let Me lift you out. I will carry you. You are so bruised and broken-you are shocked by your state. I am not. I knew your every day before you were. And I LOVE you with a pure and perfect Love that will not end, cannot be stopped and will never change. Never. Not even the smallness of your own heart will keep you from Me”.

I could only give a barely perceptible nod in agreement to being rescued. Again. Truly stunned by the oppressive, airless darkness that overwhelms me. Don’t I know better? Haven’t I learned how to be a better soldier? Self loathing envelopes me as I regard my weakness and propensity to be led so far off.

YET.

Only words of tender mercy, grace, forgiveness enter my heart from Your Heart.    Redemption, restoration from Your Pierced Hands as I let you carry me, Your lost lamb…again.

“This, dear child, is the human dilemma; severe limitations and pain this side of eternity YET I HAVE OVERCOME. Just hold on to Me. Don’t let go.”

Thank You, Beloved Jesus, that You enable me to hold on.