I have been gone from these pages as I walk the road of service You have laid before me. I think about the truth that You alone equip me for the good works You prepare in advance for me to do,  yet I feel an intense strain over my body, mind and spirit. Desiring to soar but feeling like I am barely crawling. Longing for a time of uninterrupted silence with You yet finding instead the days remain packed with needs and demands. And in the midst of it all, lies continue to be aimed at us. I cry out once more for respite.

Yet You surprise me again with Your mysterious, much higher ways. I hear You whisper of the beauty and brilliance of these intense days; shaping and forming my heart, mind and spirit to be more like my Master; to not doubt the work of my perfect Father. In fact , by Your enabling, to actually welcome the precise and yes, painful…very painful discipline (to be a disciple) of my Redeemer. Yes! Have Your way in my life! Let me not squirm off the table as You shape me. Sometimes I struggle to believe this is all from Hands of Love and not harsh rejection. The enemy is desperate for me to believe that . But I only need to refocus on Your bloody, battered Body on the Cross to hear the volumes of sacrificial Love spoken over me.

You warn this world will be full of corruption and brokenness but You desire to equip me to march through the darkness filled and stabilized with Your Peace and Wellbeing; trusting Your Hand and Power in ALL things. To not even be focused on deliverance, but focused solely on Your Presence in the journey. Certainly You encourage us to hope for justice and truth, but our real treasure is in knowing Your intimate closeness in the fire.