I find it shocking that I am still so easily deceived after walking with You for so many years. Experiencing the type of physical pain that grips the brain, consumes the body and causes one to scream out, crying for any kind of decrease in the horrible, paralyzing sensation has caused me to be available to revisit several things with You. Pain is an effective motivator indeed.

It has been distressing to realize that I have actually believed I have control. If I exercise enough, my body will be strong. If I help enough, people will be okay. If I read Your Word enough, I will understand You.

I am so grateful that You bring to the Light, lies that hold me in darkness. I am so grateful You long and cause for me to know that Only You are in complete control; ALL THINGS are under You. And until I really KNOW this, I will continue to try to help You carry burdens and I am so NOT designed or able to do this and I break. ONLY that which You equip me to do, am I able to do with Your strength; absolute dependence on You, not me!!! Insight into Your Word, Your Promises, Your Heart ONLY comes by Your generous, intimate revelation.

Oh, Holy Spirit, thank You that Only You can make this truth my reality. You will complete what You have started.